In the end I said I didn't know what was the hardest thing, but I think I've figured it out (ha)...
One of the HARDEST things about being a mom is leaving my child. Having to say good bye to him for any length of time has been hard so far.....and going back to work will be the real challenge.
Don't get me wrong, it's hard to listen to him cry, especially when I know I've done everything I can, but I think saying good bye to Lucas has been the hardest thing for me so far.
He's been to stay with his sitter a couple of times, to prepare him and myself, but it was hard even for a couple of hours. I trust her and know he will do well, it's just me taking it so hard.
I think of times where it was best for me to console him, and it breaks my heart to know I won't be able to do that 100% of the time when I return to work next week.
I know that for our family I have to work, but it breaks my heart to think that I'm going to miss him for so many hours a day.
The one thing I'm going to miss the most is our play time each morning. When Lucas gets up in the morning, he's always so happy and playful. We sit and play before he eats or anything; he coos and smiles and copies me, it's truly my most favorite part of the day with him.
I am also going to miss being able to put him down for a nap each day; he snuggles up on my shoulder and quietly closes his sweet eyes, it just brings tears to my eyes.
I know this is unfortunately something that so many mothers have to face, and I never understood how hard it was for them and how hard it would be for me.
I am dreading Monday, but for now, I am trying to soak up and enjoy every single minute I have with him over the rest of this week.
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