A Little Snow Bear and His First Snow

The snow of 2014 began last night and today we enjoyed Lucas's first snow, plus the first snow in our house, the first snow for Tanner, and the third snow for Tink.

Here's a little recap...

Tink LOVES the snow

Tanner explored but mostly shivered

Family snow pic

First trip out this morning

Cute snow bear

First snow at our house

Cuddled up with Daddy 

The Hardest Thing: Part 2

I recently wrote an entry that described some of the hardest things about being a mom...

In the end I said I didn't know what was the hardest thing, but I think I've figured it out (ha)...

One of the HARDEST things about being a mom is leaving my child. Having to say good bye to him for any length of time has been hard so far.....and going back to work will be the real challenge.

Don't get me wrong, it's hard to listen to him cry, especially when I know I've done everything I can, but I think saying good bye to Lucas has been the hardest thing for me so far.

He's been to stay with his sitter a couple of times, to prepare him and myself, but it was hard even for a couple of hours. I trust her and know he will do well, it's just me taking it so hard.

I think of times where it was best for me to console him, and it breaks my heart to know I won't be able to do that 100% of the time when I return to work next week.

I know that for our family I have to work, but it breaks my heart to think that I'm going to miss him for so many hours a day.

The one thing I'm going to miss the most is our play time each morning. When Lucas gets up in the morning, he's always so happy and playful. We sit and play before he eats or anything; he coos and smiles and copies me, it's truly my most favorite part of the day with him.

I am also going to miss being able to put him down for a nap each day; he snuggles up on my shoulder and quietly closes his sweet eyes, it just brings tears to my eyes.

I know this is unfortunately something that so many mothers have to face, and I never understood how hard it was for them and how hard it would be for me.

I am dreading Monday, but for now, I am trying to soak up and enjoy every single minute I have with him over the rest of this week.

I never knew...

Before I had you Lucas, I never knew....

I never knew I would be able to run on such little sleep.

I never knew I wouldn't mind having spit up, drool, milk, throw up, poop, pee, you fill in the blank on me or my clothes (yes it's gross at times, but I don't mind it like I thought I would).

I never knew I would be able to wake up so many times a night and still be in a good mood.

I never knew I could put someone else's needs before my own so much and not mind.

I never knew that leaving you would be the hardest thing I've ever done.

I never knew that having a baby could be so challenging yet so rewarding at the same time.

I never knew that life could be any better.

I never knew I could love someone SOO much.

I love you baby boy, so much more than you'll be able to comprehend until the day you have your own baby.

The Hardest Thing

Over the past month I've thought about some of the hardest things about being a mom, so many things have come to mind. I would go through something and think, "Wow, this is the hardest thing about being a mom so far.." only to have another experience challenge me even more...

• getting him on a schedule/routine (especially bedtime)
• feeding him enough but not making him dependent on me at times when he uses nursing for comforting 
• balancing time for everything and everyone (especially fitting in the time for myself and Andrew)
• going back to work and letting someone else care for Lucas
• watching him grow up so quickly

Every day is different, some days are harder than others, while some days seems like a breeze where I get everything done and Lucas is just happy and on his routine and easy to care far that day....those days are oh so much fun but can sometimes be tricky because that means I think every day should be that way :) But I can surely tell you, every bit of it is worth it! 

Right now his schedule has gotten much better. We kind of set it together...

Once he wakes up each day between 8-9am  and we play until he acts hungry sometime in that hour.

He usually plays a few more minutes before wanting a nap somewhere around 10 am.

Then he wakes up and we play and he eats and plays again. 

He usually goes down for a nap again between 1-2pm and sleeps until 4pm or so.

Then he is generally awake and ready to eat again, but the evenings are hardest....that's when he gets cranky.

We usually try to keep him awake so he'll sleep that night, but he's been sleepy and fighting sleep so much at night, so we're trying to move his bed time up (which is hard). He seems to be fighting it lately, even when putting him down for a 3rd nap or an earlier bedtime. Right now he's getting to sleep around 10pm, but we'd like it to be earlier...like around 8pm, so we're trying to move it up. Last night we tried moving it up to 8 because he was so tired, but he was in and out and fought it until he finally fell asleep at 10pm. He ended up waking up 2 times last night to eat versus the last week where he'd been waking up only once to eat, which is ok, but hopefully he'll get back to feeding one time a night. 

I need to not stress and worry so much about this schedule/routine, but I know he needs a routine and thrives off it, just like I do (yes, I am type A). It seems that he has set himself in a good rhythm right now, but we will have to adjust again when I go back to work in a couple of weeks and he goes to child care.  I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it, right now, I'm still going to work on an earlier bedtime, consistency will pay off as it did when we got him to bed at 10pm. 

So what is the hardest thing about being a mom???? 

I'll let you know when I figure it out, check back with me daily because I bet it will change daily.... 

But the best thing? that's easy!! Look at the picture below...that's the BEST thing about being a mom!! 

so tiny at his newborn session 

2 Months

Today is January 21, 2014 and our little boy is 2 months old...it's hard to believe he's gotten so big and grown so much!! He had an appointment today for his well visit and he weighs a whopping 13 lbs 1.5oz !! I can't believe it! The doctor is very impressed with his great growth!!  Here's a look at LBO :)

Cutie

It's a Balancing Act

As mentioned a couple of entries ago...I thought I would be able to get all the cleaning, cooking, etc done ...and as I said, I am getting them done, but on Lucas's time, not my own.

So I thought the other day, I need to figure out a balancing act for getting it all done. Of course, cooking has to be a daily thing, but for cleaning, I decided I wanted to come up with a schedule for myself to use weekly.

When we moved into the house, I realized it was a LOT more to clean vs our apartment, but I never made myself stick to a schedule to do it in chunks. I liked just cleaning whenever I got in the zone for it....but Lucas is going to change things for me....

So here's my plan...

Monday:  clean the bathrooms
Tuesday:  vacuum
Wednesday: clean the kitchen
Thursday:  catch up (I know I'll need a catch up day)
Friday: dust

Now of course this isn't my whole list of chores to keep the house clean, just generic to-do's, plus we'll keep doing things on a daily and monthly basis. I'm leaving weekends open to hopefully not need to do these things on the weekend OR to catch up :)

Daily To-Do's  (as needed)

• take out trash 
• pick up after us/Lucas/dogs
• wash clothes
• wash dishes/put dishes away
• empty dishwasher

Bi-Weekly/Monthly To-Do's 

• mop
• deep clean bathrooms

This week was my plan to start, but on Monday time got away from me...so I thought I would do it today, then today was to vacuum, which I didn't think would happen...

Well Tanner decided to dig in the mud outside in the backyard (don't know why/where there is mud), but he came in completely covered in mud/dirt, so after he came and traipsed it all over the carpet, I HAD to vacuum (and give the dachshund a bath LOL)...so needless to say, I got the bathrooms cleaned and vacuumed and started a load of clothes today.....so God must have wanted me to catch up --that's going to be my reason why Tanner got so dirty--causing me to clean/vacuum :) I don't know how long this will last or how often I'll be able to stay on top of this, especially once I return to work, but it's my plan and worth a shot! 

Being a Mom: Part 2

Yesterday I decided to write a blog entry on being a mom and what I've experienced and felt over the past month and a few days...crazy to think that our little man is now 45 days old...wow!! I had quite a few fellow mom friends tell me everything was normal for my feelings and they had been there, too. Having Andrew sick over the weekend probably didn't help how I was feeling because he was staying in the bed, and I felt like I was alone, which enhanced all of my feelings of confusion, sadness, loneliness, etc. Luckily, and thankfully, he's feeling much better.

Today I had a few moments where I felt these same feelings, but tonight I had a moment looking at my son sitting peacefully in his swing and sleeping without a care in the world.....he is happy, he is clean, he is warm, and his belly is full...I AM DOING ALRIGHT at this Mom thing:) I wouldn't have come to this conclusion without the encouragement of those fellow Mom friends, what a nice circle of support I have --thank you to each of you near and far!

I am planning for Andrew and I to go out on Tuesday night for his birthday...it's going to be super cold and we would like a dinner out for us...it would be a first since Lucas was born. I feel guilty for leaving him at any time, although it's only been once or twice for a small amount of time, like the store, but it's true we need time out of the house and time together for us! I know that time together will make us better parents for Lucas, but at times, I still feel bad for missing out on time with him :)

I know this feeling will not last everyday, but it's nice to feel like hey, I'm doing something right for him...let's hope he doesn't throw me a curve ball tonight :) I'm just letting him lead the way today/tonight!

Love this little guy and I am so thankful God chose us to be his parents!

Being a Mom

Growing up I always thought I wanted more than 1 kid, then I had a kid. Now, I'm not saying I don't want another kid nor am I implying Lucas is a bad baby; in fact, it's quite the opposite.

However, I didn't know it would be this hard. There are times this 'job' is lonely, like when I'm home with him or when I have to nurse him when we're around company, but Andrew is great at supporting me and taking care of Lucas and myself. There are things I used to quietly judge people on ....like not being able to do things around the house...I thought do it when they sleep or they'll just play on the floor and be happy or your husband can watch the baby. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening. Now, while I never thought bad of people for those things, I just thought, "oh I'll make it happen...I'll get the dishes washed, I'll still clean the house, it won't be that hard to do laundry, cooking dinner won't be that hard, etc" Are those things getting done? yes, but in time, not on my time, on Lucas's time :) He is truly a blessing to our lives. Sometimes I sit and look at him and just cry because I am overwhelmed with emotion and how much I love him. I have to admit, at other times, I get so frustrated and upset because I can't do it all; never at him, just at me for not being able to get it all done. So this comes to our friends and family who have done so much for us, they've helped us, fed us, visited us, loved us, and most importantly gone above and beyond for us and Lucas...we cannot say THANK YOU enough.

Motherhood is the greatest, hardest, most confusing, stressful, amazing job ever. I am constantly second guessing myself with decisions we make, should he be in his crib for every nap? when should I try to make a schedule/routine for him? am I holding him too much? am I making the right decision? has he eaten too much? or not enough? should he have a bottle all day and only nurse in the morning and night, to adjust to what it'll be like when I return to work? how can I prepare myself and him to leave him with a sitter? is it ok to let him sleep all day (if that's what he does that day)? how many naps should he take?

People tell you all kinds of advice, but it's true, you've got to do what works for you and your baby and your family...I just wish there were answers to that--like what's best for us. Yes, I go on gut and feelings, but I still question myself at times.

Everyday is a new learning experience, here's to many many many more days and years of this experience.

Now to the reasons I do this all, whether it's hard or not.....

 

                                     

2013 comes to an end as we welcome 2014

Looking back on 2013 ...one way I refreshed my mind was looking back at my blog...nice little time to reflect...what a great year it's been

2013 Events

• celebrated Andrew's 26th birthday
• continued running and ran another 5K with GOTR in April (at 10 weeks pregnant)
• our friends Jamie and Jordan welcomed Tucker, their little boy, into the world on Feb. 17th
• started a small group with some people from our Church in February and have become so close to our group 
• we found out we were expecting our first baby in late March 
• ran a 5K with GOTR at 10 weeks pregnant
• we celebrated 1 year in our house 
• we participated in our 2nd Relay for Life with BCE
• we celebrated 3 years of marriage on June 12, 2013
• we found out in June that we were expecting a baby boy & had a wonderful gender reveal party thrown by great friends in July
• we celebrated 10 years of being together on July 27, 2013 
• along with Andrew's brother Daniel getting married that day
• Andrew started a new job
• our friends Jessie and Daron welcomed Silas, their little boy, into the world on Aug. 2nd
• we prepped all year for our baby boy--setting up the nursery, buying things he needed, taking childbirth, etc classes
• I started my 4th year teaching....but this year in 3rd grade
• we celebrated my 27th birthday
• had a 3D ultrasound to see our little man in September 
• had wonderful baby showers for our little boy
• went on plenty of date nights before Lucas arrived
• Aunt Lisa got married & Andrew's cousin Kristin got married
• welcomed our beautiful baby boy Lucas into our lives on Thursday, November 21, 2013 at 1:48pm 
• celebrated Lucas's first Thanksgiving with my parents at our house
• celebrated Lucas's first Christmas, by traveling to all of the grandparents and parents' houses 
• celebrated Lucas's first New Year with our great friends from Church
• sadly some things in 2013 were not all the happiest from first glance....
• we lost my Uncle Ervie on March 31, 2013, Easter, after a 9 month battle with bladder cancer
• we lost my great Uncle Bubba on November 11, 2013 
• my grandma had a stroke in late August, luckily she recovered and is doing well

There are plenty of other big events that happened in our lives, but those are the ones I can recall...for now 

Looking back on last year I couldn't see all that God had planned for us, but He knew and He knows...I trust His plans and I am so excited for what He has planned for us in 2014

Looking to 2014

Here are things I would like to focus on and have as goals this year

• grow closer in my walk with Christ...listen to His plans for me and my family
• read the Bible everyday with Andrew 
• complete my devotional everyday 
• be a great wife and mother to Andrew and Lucas (learn how to balance wife, mommy, teacher, homemaker, and more)
• get back into running and run at least 3 5K's this year, possibly a 10K in October